The Financial Crisis was a Hoax. The global casino is open again.
No worries! You actually believed there was a problem when Paulson and Bernanke threatened Congress last year with Martial Law; to blast the U.S. economy back to the 16th century; to crash the market unless ransom was paid requiring each American to fork over $100,000, give or take, in impossible-to-payback future loans today to add to the hundreds of thousands of dollars each American already owes forever?
HAHAHA. It’s all good, bro. Goldman Sachs and the other cruel sisters of syphilitic lending are reporting huge profits and bonuses. Analysts are begging Wall St. to raise their debt ratios and risk profiles to increase leverage to thousands of times equity back to where it was before their competition BearSteans and Lehman Brothers were murdered. The bubble machine is whipping up cash like cotton candy machines at the end of an endless pier stretched over an ocean of easy credit, pay check loans and Cash for Clunkers.
All efforts to remove the investment banking tapeworm from our collective colon have failed, but that’s a good thing. We poked the monster at 85 Broad St. and made it angrier and greedier in ways never thought possible and daddy’s feeling fine. Ain’t no audit going on at the Fed, bud. I’m so happy I could just plotz. You’re gonna LOVE what happens next. Insatiable greed meets infinite moral hazard when Goldman eats the Fed.
We’re on the cusp of another financial eclipse. The Shadow of Wall St.’s banking pyramid is covering the U.S. dollar in a blanket of Chinese sell orders.
Embrace the moment. While Wall St. has been off-loading last year’s crooked schemes: CDOs, High Frequency Trading, and Ponzi profits engineered by pilot-less computers firing a million trades a second into the heart of capitalism. A whole new generation is waiting in the wings to get cold-called from Wall St. and sold a few thousand shares of today’s hot IPO:
NEW YORK (Reuters) – PennyMac Mortgage Investment Trust (PMT.N), which buys distressed home loans and is run by several former Countrywide Financial Corp executives, on Wednesday raised $320 million from an initial public offering, $80 million less than planned.
The Calabasas, California-based company sold 16 million shares at $20 each. It had on July 16 projected an offering of 20 million shares at $20 each. The company had also said it hoped to raise $400 million from the offering. The company plans to operate as a real estate investment trust. Its shares are expected to begin trading on Thursday on the New York Stock Exchange under the symbol “PMT.” Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Credit Suisse and Deutsche Bank Securities Inc arranged the IPO.
Your neighbor will be ‘making a killing’ as re-re-re-repackaged sub-sub-sub-prime debts bought from the government – who bought them from Goldman – who bought them from the government before skyrocketing from $20 to $2,000 while you relax aboard the Virgin Galactic to outer space.
The CCX (Chicago Climate Exchange) owned in part by the same double dealing banks that have been rigging the game in New York, Beijing, Tokyo, Moscow and all points in between invites you to play in the carbon futures market. In the UK, DTQs (Domestic Tradable Quotas) give homeless people a swipe card that will top up with credits as a result of having relatively minuscule carbon ‘footprints.’ Greed and good will finally be trading side-by-side 24/7 and anyone looking to hedge their wickedness can go long altruism for pennies on the dollar.
Political futures will become much bigger as state economies fail and gambling becomes legalized. Sites like InTrade that offer ways for punters to make political bets will bloom. Some bet that Obama would be President when his chances were less than 5% did and made a bundle. The McCain camp tried to manipulate that market. Remember? But you knew that. That’s why you shorted McCain at the top!
Hollywood futures will be much bigger. Look for studios to sabotage each other’s projects by short selling and ‘naked’ short selling competing projects on the Cantor Exchange to drive the perception of a film’s popularity down before it’s released. No problem, just spend more on marketing. More money will be made trading box office futures than at the box office. Inside information will become legal. Milton Friedman will rise from the dead and advise the Honduran government. Brat Pitt will star.
High Frequency Trading (HFT) aka ‘flash trading’ will continue to grow exponentially. Trading will become so fast, time itself will have a public offering after Microsoft secures a patent on it and trading time futures will catapult traders backwards and forwards through time until they need bailouts on debts they have not yet incurred. Tim Geithner will sell his house in Larchmont.
Cloning time traders will get Congressional approval confusing the boundary between time and money further causing Warren Buffet to pass a kidney stone that looks exactly like Larry Ellison. Time Bandits will steal the DNA of time trading clones and sell the proprietary code to a Japanese housewife who will use it to crash the Icelandic Krona (again) because she thinks she’s over paying for a plate of sushi in Reykjavik.
People will start taking themselves public on new Citizen Exchanges created by Obama; commit public sex acts to boost their stock price then short themselves before committing suicide to cash in out-of-the-money puts they bought on themselves. As a result, the porn industry will need a bailout.
Babies will abort themselves to avoid declaring bankruptcy on charges racked up on in vitro credit cards force-sold to them by Visa through their Verizon owned umbilical cords.
Facebook and Twitter will go public and will each have market caps bigger than Google causing the NASDAQ to shoot to all time new highs. Users will tweet and blog for insider stock. Perez Hilton will become a billionaire. The more you look in the mirror the more you get paid. Narcissism will get monetized by the Feds with some help by Nassim Taleb.
Thanks Lloyd Blankfein, current CEO of Goldman Sachs and future President of the United States. We are eternally in your debt.
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. . .
Did THEY sell out Jack.
P.S. Not a game anymore.
You’ll love wave three.
yah !
play me erika again.
RICO
It would be amusing if it werent such a tragedy for the average lower and middle class families…
How Goldman-Sachs and their accomplices in the Congress ripped off America and commited treason at the same time..
This is not something that we can pass off as just more political chicanery…eventually these people have to be brought to account or we might as well throw away the book (the Constitution and all the laws its based on)
max ,banks too big to fail?Yet they let them fold into each other.Sounds like double talk..mike
California total debt $31 billion.
http://www.treasurer.ca.gov/cdiac/
California is like Disneyland, it’s fun to visit but crazy to stay.
Looks like you had one too many Vodkas again. Kindda reminds me of a clip of you I heard from youtube where you said “go to the library, get a copy of the bible, take it home, open it up, cut out all the pages, stick in those pages a very large gun” That cracked me up so hard.
Bob Chapman on gold, silver, a bank holiday and the monetary elite
http://www.thedailybell.com/bellpage.asp?nid=469&fl
( May have been posted already )
@Dan .. Thx .. now I get it !
@ Phil..money bomb is.to see how much real support he has anyone interested in donating to his campaign will all do so on Aug 7th….much like the Ron Paul money bomb where he got 5 mill in donations on 1 day.
@Max
http://www.garynull.org/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/GaryNullShow080309.mp3
The Gary Null Show – 08/03/09
August 3rd, 2009
click here to listen!
Discussion with Max Keiser on the Fed, High Frequency Trading, the Collapse of the American Economy and Society
w/ guest Max Keiser
http://www.maxkeiser.com
I was interviewed on Gary Null’s radio show yesterday for 40 minutes.. but I can’t find any link to it… anybody find it???
@dan valley … Peter Schiff money bomb Aug 7th 2009
Hi Dan,
good promo for peter .. just hope he has good body guards !
I can’t remember how many presidents that opposed the FED system were murdered, but it’s quite a few !
Hoping for the best of course !
I liked his line : “Free us from the Govt.”
Why was it called the MoneyBomb ? … maybe because it will mean crashing the US$ FED money system first to be able to rebuild a new one ?
@sharon
To add to the list..The Plague (in China)
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/8182734.stm
Is Obama a Wall Street project?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B6OYdqFuTrs
The single most irritating thing that comes out of Obamas mouth so often is that he inherited this mess………someone should stand up and wash his mouth out with soap. He asked to be elected….he wanted or had a plan to fix the mess…..he wasnt hired to complain about it……thats our job.
Peter Schiff money bomb Aug 7th 2009
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuAIinwcYk8
@Mr Supergeek
Not realy, just thought these where important links which I could’t deny you. My total headline list is 10x to 15x bigger more subjects too. Just yerry pict some.
Ron Paul: The Big Guns Have Lined Up Against H.R. 1207 (House Floor 7/30/09)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UG1HUX_pt0
Barack Obama as The Joker: A New American Phenomenon?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlsxpF6rNLQ
@Youri …
“America’s Ultimate Weapon …
Is America building a pure…”
Thanks .. interesting read !
@youri
Have you had one too many cups of fresh coffee…wow!
@scott
audit the fed but…pick a favourite ‘heads will roll’ ‘I don’t like the way they ask the questions’ ‘people might not understand what were talking about’ and people won’t feel free if they are being recorded’….wow! they actually get paid for that.
Spot News: Energy agency warns on oil price increases Economic recovery at risk, says IEA (FT) Banks and… http://cli.gs/10MPj
max,that was so f$#@in funny ,mike olsen
keep this stuff comin,my cockels hurt
Splits in Banking Industry Beginning to Surface http://tinyurl.com/lx4xrp
Greece to vaccinate population for swine flu http://tinyurl.com/mlya8n
http://mises.org/story/3597
Razorjack by John Higgins FREE: Comic Book http://tinyurl.com/lvupt9
Antidepressant use doubles in US, study finds
* Use doubles from 13 million to 27 million Americans
http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/N03411375.htm
That explains why no one is protesting! Add that number to over 10% receiving food stamps and that’s a lot of people who are either hungry or delusional.
Check out more Max K. at:
http://www.youtube.com/user/aNewEraBegins
http://blogs.reuters.com/james-pethokoukis/2009/08/03/6-economists-on-why-ron-pauls-fed-audit-idea-is-wrong/
More rUETERS NONSENSE. tHE COMMENTS ARE GREAT THOUGH…
Six economists on why a Fed audit is bad bad bad…
Max,
Just wanted to say I really liked this essay – the good thing about it is it really captures the stream-of-consciousness style you employed so hilariously in your earlier podcasts
And Stacy – podcast titles! Titles! They were great!
You should have a retrospective on fecal knives, Joe Qaida, cotton candy derivative plantations, Prince Bandar … and schamdas
Who is making a profit from swine flu? http://tinyurl.com/m4rzcq
I admire your work–truth telling with flair. Perhaps with all this stimulus on the hands of banksters, fraudsters, and hedge fund goof balls, there should be a new school of economics that is called Economic Circle Jerk. Looky–the Dow is up–everything is rosy for the elite. Then the elite get excited, with all that stimulus on their hands, and 28 trades later of the same commodity transaction, they have stimulated themselves to new heights of fake money orgasm.
Play that on your Pornograph, CNN.
Jon Stewart Daily Show: Jon Stewart got freaked out.
NWO – STOP THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU HAVE STOLEN $24 Trillion and you are claiming budget cuts with Obama’s security?!!
Daily Show millions of people saw it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Swiss Consumer Prices to Shrink for Fifth Month, Boosting Deflation Fears http://tinyurl.com/lve65x
http://blogs.wsj.com/privateequity/2009/07/14/selling-ppip-to-the-public-literally/
The PPIP managing funds are trying to sucker the public into clearing the banksters books of fraudulent or toxic securities. Has Cramer had his way with the public on this yet?
Watch Gold: Up again – bashed – What will happen next?
JAVA: http://www.goldprice.org/live-gold-price.html
A/H1N1 vaccination plan a big experiment, doctor says http://tinyurl.com/nhmf8o
Somtin to lift the weary spiritz http://tinyurl.com/nrna7j
If you want to know why we are in the middle east or better yet what the plan is moving forward look no further than Zbigniew Brzezinski.
Very insightful Max! You are a smart and funny guy.
DUDE YOUR THE MAN BRO> Goldman is scum!!! Shit no wonder the crooks make Billions trading they own the tables HFT let them put the roulette wheel BALL anywhere they want!!!! THEY SHOULD BE SHOT NO SHIT SHOT>>> GET EM MAX GET EM!!!!
fucking classic…nice work Max
I-believe!
I-BELIEVE!!!
Dey’s-no-place-like-home,dey’s-no-place-like-ta-homey
@max…brad pitt and his wife will be starring in Atlas Shrugged in 2010
America’s Ultimate Weapon of Mass Destruction: Biological Warfare http://tinyurl.com/lu4n4r
Is America building a purely military economy? http://tinyurl.com/nrrfuj
Told my friend a couple of months that if they beginto talk about HIV it will get serious. My take: Suddenly a Swinflu-HIV virus emerges, how conviently!
So, if it happens, I told you.
Why are the US in Iraq and Afghanistan?
Taliban? No
Iran? Yes
Which countries suuround Iran? Iraq and Afghanistan.
WMD? Oil?
Bunker Bombs?
So many questions. One obvious answer…..
Perhaps we could ask the Afgans to NOT shoot at them?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/onthefrontline/5968797/Combat-ban-for-Afghanistan-helicopters.html
Mike
Indian exports sink for ninth straight month http://bit.ly/mnR3e
Pentagon eyes accelerated “bunker buster” bomb (Reuters) http://tinyurl.com/mud6y5
Pentagon, Eyeing Iran, Wants to Rush 30,000-Pound Bomb Program (Bloomberg) http://tinyurl.com/l4fafk
according to ban ki moon’s staff, the US/EU has cut a backroom deal to give control of the worldbank/IMF (US-> worldbank, EU -> IMF) to china in exchange for buying t-bills (US) and sec. general of the UN (EU).
http://bloggingheads.tv/diavlogs/21535?in=29:43&out=32:45
@alister–
What about “power corrupts”?
No way in hell are the peasants as evil as the bankers. There is no equivalency.
Also, humans may be naturally empathetic and even altruistic, but not at a distance and not in the abstract. Peasants may take care of other peasants right in their midst, but large-scale institutional “philanthropy” always has ulterior motives.
You like Banksy! you might like him ‘punking’ paris hilton:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqQYVKSmugc
@Jeannon Kralj
I remember my Serbian friend suddenly open my cars windowing and throwing the trash outside. I asked him:”Why you dit that fore?” and he used to answer “To get the balance for all good things I did today”.
For me this was a totaly new reality of looking at thinks and I kinda liked it, mainly cause it was new and laughable. But on a greater scale it’s bs of cause.
African woman infected with gorilla strain of HIV http://bit.ly/lpODM
@max
maybe you’ve seen it but I know you like banksy…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRai9x8aD3A&NR=1
#2
What…have you ordered an internet bride?
Alister thinks there are some “good honest elites” who do good deeds.
I would just say that remember that one of the basic gnostic tenets that pervade the elites and their secret societies is the philosophy of balancing their good deeds with their bad deeds. They are dualists and Luciferians at the highest level. That’s why your greatest philanthropist will very often be your highest ranking satanist. What they are trying to do with their philanthropy is self serving when you actually look at it. It’s not as generous as it appears. They are trying to do good deeds and balance those with their bad deeds, they believe in balance in their religion. It’s a gnostic Luciferianism.
John Ruskin and his Oxford student Cecil John Rhodes were lovers of Plato and were both occultists of the gnostic variety. The philosopher kings must come from the mystery school way of thinking and acting.
Am ……W A I T I N G….. for my thing of beauty!
Mike
@jim
A tiny prezzie….you may need to copy ‘n’ paste link dunno.
https://cid-8ede9197aad998e3.skydrive.live.com/self.aspx/Public/Vocal%20-%20Preserve%20Disorder.wav
“Perez Hilton will become a billionaire. The more you look in the mirror the more you get paid.”
LOL!
Right now I would rather be at ‘cabaret sauvage’…gettin’ down ya’all..
Russia to use force if Georgian shelling continues http://ur1.ca/8ejh
Rock on Max !!!
Max…please tell Mr Alex Jones to refrain from referring to our Bubbling Police State as: New World Order…..firstly, there is nothing “new” about it…..secondly, it is expressly about world “disorder”…..should Jones persist; at least asked him to explain it as the New World Domination/Totalitarianism. Lastly, maybe you or someone could help ease Jones’s angst by acquainting him with the “Platonic Solution”…you know, that Gold-Silver-Bronze stuff. Every Craving Bastard ever born fashions that Greek/Persian/Roman Shit….still very Manichean. Lions, Tigers & Bears; oh my.
Genius!
Love this bit…
“trading time futures will catapult traders backwards and forwards through time until they need bailouts on debts they have not yet incurred. Tim Geithner will sell his house in Larchmont.”
MUST SEE: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
Wauw exactly the clip where I was looking for.
Somali pirates get $2.7 million ransom for German ship http://link.reuters.com/gyj79c
Now that the banks are ‘in the clear’ Geithner tells the US it will have to suffer..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsCZj4XP8XU
@Harry Wow what a post about a China Bubble, I did not know about that. Thanks Harry !!!!
Interesting interview with Barclays chief executive John Varley:
http://www.channel4.com/news/
Student loans are an issue in the US. Students are encouraged to stay in school and study hard while at the same time racking up thousands in debt. The shock does not come until after graduation when people are faced with paying off that huge debt. Of course that doesn’t apply to all students, some have more luck than others.
@Danny: typically american: Not capable of seeing reality as it is and of course blaming someone else.
How could a uni influence the economy?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSuUM3Abe00
The chinese problem?
Yeah, bankers are fuzzy white peace bunnies incarnated as benign old farts in smooth silky pin stripe suits hiding razor laced black leather leotards torturing eager fratboys with male sex hormon induced prefrontal degeneration towards their utter moral depravity and eventual worthiness to inherit their insane priviliges…
Goring rings a bell?
Jobless Graduate Sues Her NY University
An unhappy graduate in New York is suing the university where she studied because she has been unable to find a job since finishing her degree.
http://uk.news.yahoo.com/5/20090803/twl-jobless-graduate-sues-her-ny-univers-3fd0ae9.html
The scope — and dangers — of GE’s control of NBC and MSNBC
GE isn’t even bothering any longer to deny the fact that they exert control over MSNBC’s journalism.
http://tinyurl.com/2je7n7
when will other media parents own up?
i couldn’t resist the headline
Satyajit Das’s Blog – Fear & Loathing in Financial Products
Breaking News: The GFC was not caused by Beer Swilling, Cocaine Snorting Traders
http://tinyurl.com/ny9qrn
A review of a quartet of books focuses on the political economy of the GFC.
You go buooooy!!!!! “…that’s what I’m talkin’ about…….you’ve still got that ‘magic eye’…”,a quote from The Trainer…incase we have copyright problems..HA!!!
Barclays staff handed 32% rise in salaries and bonuses after posting £3bn profit
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1203804/Barclays-staff-handed-32-rise-salaries-bonuses-posting-3bn-profit.html
hahahaha!!!!!
CIT gets monkeyfucked:
http://www.marketwatch.com/investing/stock/cit
a world explicitly overseen by bankers would not be a bad thing, necessarily. there are good, honest elites just like there are good, honest peasants. similarly there are bad, dishonest elites like there are bad, dishonest peasants. class is a part of nature and i don’t think it can or will ever truly evaporate.
on earth, there is a network of bankers more powerful than most. some have done good, some have done bad, some have done both. the world is complex and messy, not simplistic and clean.
my point is, if a network of bankers stacked with more people of a good nature and integrity can make things good through ending up in a position of influence after the $ crashes there is no reason why select countries on earth cannot experience a renaissance – a glorious age of sorts.
max spoke of this last tam. how influential people can and sometimes do consciously choose to decline increased personal profit in order to serve some noble cause…and when the planet’s ecology is at stake…i am sure there are influential people willing to act accordingly.
random, attached though still distant example of this such manifestation = In the 2005/06 financial year, whilst making profits of £96.5 million, the co-operative bank turned away business of nearly £10 million due to ethical reasons. this particular bank refuses to invest in companies involved in the arms trade, global climate change, genetic engineering, animal testing and use of sweated labour as stated in its ethical policy.
they don’t have to do that.
in a way, it’s an example of max keiser or tyler durden but with extra makeup…
LOL, “Major Kong rides the bomb” made my day
I hear ya, It just sounds like a few banks have more derivative product FART oxygen air to breath at everyone’s else’s expense, that is their dead competitors as well as stealing future oxygen from the tax payer. What happened to wealth creation? Its so depressing!
Sun is shining,..birds a tweetin’,..flowers blowing in the breeze,….right!,…I’m goin’ a huntin’ ,..grab me some dinna
http://fofoa.blogspot.com/2009/01/what-modern-hyperinflation-looks-like.html
As the dollar collapses, could this be coming to America? Imagine the anger and chaos!
@Max
Forget Huffington Post – get your blogs over to Zero Hedge (as I’ve just seen) and they will spread like wild fire. At least the comment posting there is unchecked.
Zero Hedge has probably become the hub of ‘alternative financial’ news. Tyler Durden is like Subcomandante Marcos or somerthing!
OK, this isn’t good!
The World Health Organization determined in 2005 it has the authority to dissolve sovereign governments and take control should there be a “pandemic”. This applies to any country signed onto WHO….
From the WHO 2005 declaration: (excerpted) “ Under special pandemic plans enacted around the world including the USA, in 2005, national governments are to be dissolved in the event of a pandemic emergency and replaced by special crisis committees, which take charge of the health and security infrastructure of a country, and which are answerable to the WHO and EU in Europe and to the WHO and UN in North America.
If the Model Emergency Health Powers Act is implemented on the instructions of WHI, it will be a criminal offence for Americans to refuse the vaccine. Police are allowed to use deadly force against “criminal” suspects. Here are ten key points associated with MSEHPA:………………
http://farmwars.info/?p=1314
http://www.marketoracle.co.uk/Article12442.html
Predictions of US dollar collapse in August.
@maxkeiser
Now I have read it just one question… what will you and Stacy will be doing while all this stuff takes place?
Has anyone here heard of the coming Basel III gold backed currency requirements to be administered to American banks after the end of the end of the Federal Reserve’s fiscal year (September 30, 2009?
Is this just hogwash?
@Stacy Is this it?
Have they?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI05Foq7mYw
Want a job putting people into camps?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvBlaRhs-R0
excellent, rip roaring, funny and true.
gonzo rides again in the spirit of H.S.T, I.F.Stone and Terry Southern.
“cruel sisters of syphilitic lending”
“Babies will abort themselves to avoid declaring bankruptcy on charges racked up on in vitro credit cards force-sold to them by Visa through their Verizon owned umbilical cords”
and my favourite “The bubble machine is whipping up cash like cotton candy machines at the end of an endless pier stretched over an ocean of easy credit”
tell it to the people
Quick ring his agent there’s finally a plot line Claude Van Damme can do the splits to.
http://subrealism.blogspot.com/2009/07/greenpeace-study-finds-oil-companies.html
Greenpeace And Oil don’t mix?
Randomly, the words ‘heat-oppressed brain’ floated into my conscienceness..and last lines from the heart of darkness..the horror..the horror
As a good MK student I know IPOs are meant to bribe/compensate disgruntled investors, and the initial price hike is entirely artificial. God save those poor bastards that buy on day one.
I swear I made a video using that bomb scene, but youtube is hard to search through..
Also happy ‘Plotz’ did not mean anything else..
Maybe an Office Space ending would help?
I’d like to take my right middle finger public on Wall Street.
Cue Vera Lynn
Has the flight been delayed?
STEAMIN’!
@Mike/Liverpool,……£ Rallying again,….oh dear,.: )
File that under “Rants”
I loved it though – which is sick considering the lamentable subject matter
Gee,..what rhetoric,..you should write a book,….(oops you have)! great clip
“The bubble machine is whipping up cash like cotton candy machines at the end of an endless pier stretched over an ocean of easy credit”
genuis
Undoubted: that was a Max entry:
Babies will abort themselves to avoid declaring bankruptcy on charges racked up on in vitro credit cards force-sold to them by Visa through their Verizon owned umbilical cords.
Redoubtable: the fearless leaders are riding the bomb all the way to profit hell. (love the clip)
P.O.E.